Me shortly after Chris returned from Iraq....look how much I changed...darn that depression!
After giving birth to Cody in September 2004
Active duty
Thin and trim
I was so proud of myself for being thin
Hello...welcome to my world of ups and down with my weight. For most of you that know me, know that I was skinny back in the day. I was fit and Active duty. I could run and eat anything I wanted. Well, in 2004 that changed. My world was changing seasons and my body did not follow suit. In the summer of 2004, I found myself very pregnant with my second child, a husband deploying yet for the second time (out of three total) and I was leaving active duty after 4 years. Can you say I went through a few of life changes?!? Well, I became depressed. Not to the point I needed to be committed, but to the point I channeled all my energies into food, and found comfort in that. When no one was there and I was sad, that bag of chips or bowl of ice cream seemed to say, "I will be your friend." So, the weight started to come on, and on...
Becoming a full stay-at-home mom was truly a change in itself. You mean I have to be the mom 24/7?!? And I have to change them, bath them, and cook for them all the time as a single parent? (Chris is deployed at this time) So, off I became the biggest stock holder of McDonald's, Burger King, oh and take out anything. Not only did I have a 2 year old and a newborn to take care of, I had to deal with everything during yet another deployment that left me clinging to food. Sad? Not really, it is more common than you think...and of course people judge, which doesn't help things as well.
Slowly over the fall of 2004 and into the winter of 2005, I gained a whopping 75 pounds. Honestly. I cry even thinking about it. How embarrassing to change so much for the worse, and not be motivated to do anything about it. I didn't have anyone to impress on a daily basis, Shelby and Cody could care less what I looked like, all Shelby wanted was her Care Bears, crackers, and a popsicle, and Cody was king of my boobs (yes I was nursing and didn't loose an ounce- so much for loosing weight that way!) So, needless to say, I was not motivated to do anything about my weight or get help for my depression.
So fast forward to October of 2008...we just moved from Fort Bliss, TX to Fort Sill, OK and were all settled into our new routines...Shelby and Cody off to school, Chris off to teach, and me, at home with a baby to eat all day long...so I seeked help at Reynolds Army Community Hospital. I prayed the night before my first appointment with my physician...I knew nothing about him, and was scared about what he might have to say about my weight. In the past, doctors dismissed me and "diet and exercise" and "get more sunlight" and "here is a pill"...all too frequent and too sad to even explain really...I guess I would have to invest in a mighty fine stapler to shut my mouth off from the world of food according to those guys.
I walked into family practice and waited for my doctor...to my surprise he was a retired COL nurse and prided himself on not being a doctor...which I mistakenly called him "doc"..ha. God answered my prayers. I broke down and sobbed in the room with him and we prayed...WE PRAYED TOGETHER!!! Never before have I had a health care giver have so much compassion for my pathetic self. He mentioned to me "bariatric surgery" and at first I was like, "I don't need that, that's for really fat people." Well guess what, I was!!!!
And it's all down hill from here....more to come!
Becoming a full stay-at-home mom was truly a change in itself. You mean I have to be the mom 24/7?!? And I have to change them, bath them, and cook for them all the time as a single parent? (Chris is deployed at this time) So, off I became the biggest stock holder of McDonald's, Burger King, oh and take out anything. Not only did I have a 2 year old and a newborn to take care of, I had to deal with everything during yet another deployment that left me clinging to food. Sad? Not really, it is more common than you think...and of course people judge, which doesn't help things as well.
Slowly over the fall of 2004 and into the winter of 2005, I gained a whopping 75 pounds. Honestly. I cry even thinking about it. How embarrassing to change so much for the worse, and not be motivated to do anything about it. I didn't have anyone to impress on a daily basis, Shelby and Cody could care less what I looked like, all Shelby wanted was her Care Bears, crackers, and a popsicle, and Cody was king of my boobs (yes I was nursing and didn't loose an ounce- so much for loosing weight that way!) So, needless to say, I was not motivated to do anything about my weight or get help for my depression.
So fast forward to October of 2008...we just moved from Fort Bliss, TX to Fort Sill, OK and were all settled into our new routines...Shelby and Cody off to school, Chris off to teach, and me, at home with a baby to eat all day long...so I seeked help at Reynolds Army Community Hospital. I prayed the night before my first appointment with my physician...I knew nothing about him, and was scared about what he might have to say about my weight. In the past, doctors dismissed me and "diet and exercise" and "get more sunlight" and "here is a pill"...all too frequent and too sad to even explain really...I guess I would have to invest in a mighty fine stapler to shut my mouth off from the world of food according to those guys.
I walked into family practice and waited for my doctor...to my surprise he was a retired COL nurse and prided himself on not being a doctor...which I mistakenly called him "doc"..ha. God answered my prayers. I broke down and sobbed in the room with him and we prayed...WE PRAYED TOGETHER!!! Never before have I had a health care giver have so much compassion for my pathetic self. He mentioned to me "bariatric surgery" and at first I was like, "I don't need that, that's for really fat people." Well guess what, I was!!!!
And it's all down hill from here....more to come!
oh sweety, i really feel your pain. know that i am with you through this wholr process. from start to finish. i love you and am very proud of you!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you and I am so grateful to you for sharing your story. I'm also an emotional eater and it helps so much to hear your story. If it wasn't for living with Rebecca during this deployment I know I would have a lot of weight because every time I feel anything but happy (and a lot of times even then) I turn straight to food. Thanks again and I'm looking forward to future posts!
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